i promised myself i would not look like a hot mess regardless of how stressful life gets with being a mama, wife, working full time and so on. i promised to never ever wear sweat pants or yoga pants (unless i’m going to yoga) in public. what i find works really well is that when an outfit works, it unofficially becomes my uniform. for the last couple months this one has been mine. i’ve worn this here getup for a kid birthday party, thanksgiving day in atl, to the movies with josh, to grab a drink with a friend. basically anyone who’s seen me in the last few months has seen me wearing this. the denim top is sleeveless so i don’t get too hot in it and the buttons snap so my little one has easy access for nursing. i have hips now and am curvier which i quite like. if i could only keep these boobs. that would be sweet. since i’ve always been flat chested, i convinced myself that being flat chested is awesome and there’s so many perks like wearing crazy low cut tops (the ones that plunge really far down, that i’m too prudish to ever wear but like the idea that i guess i could) or going braless. anyway now that i have a taste of what it’s like to be an A+ or B if i’m behind with pumping, i have to admit i’m gonna miss them when i’m done nursing. in the beginning when i had an oversupply i think i may have even been a C ha! back when i was pregnant, i had no idea what my postpartum body would be like and i didn’t worry too much. i was told my body would never be the same by most and i was told i’d bounce right back by others. i have a couple of pounds to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, but i pretty much fit back into all of my clothing. it’s certainly tighter, but it fits. the best advice someone gave me is to eat healthy and not to worry too much about fitness with a very young baby. i gained twenty four pounds during my pregnancy and dropped eighteen right away. a few weeks later i dropped a couple more and have a few pounds left to lose, but i am steadily building up my strength and endurance. i’ve been cycling to work when i can and this involves biking to multiple locations around brooklyn. so on any given day i cycle between five and seven miles about once or twice a week. a friend of mine shared a very powerful video with me about women’s postpartum bodies. it’s called birthmarkings and certainly worth checking out. it’s a collection of interviews of women sharing how their body transformed after having a baby and the camera is on their bellies not their faces. what struck me is that one woman said, hollywood seeks to sell the idea that it’s important to erase the evidence of childbirth and in many instances this is not possible nor is it necessary. she talks about how it’s important to appreciate a body that has transformed in order to bring forth life.
in real life, people tell me i don’t look like i’ve had a baby. the “evidence” is not so apparent, but in the nude it is and it’s okay. i didn’t get stretch marks, this time around but i have a little pooch which may or may not go away it’s really important for me to be healthy and strong and i know this will come with time and effort. having a baby has certainly been transformative and i am still negotiating the life i had with the one i have now and juggling quite a bit. i think i’m really close to finding my groove though and it’s really exciting. yea a bit of a rant…likely due to very little sleep okay off to get some rest.
coat vitnage, scarf vintage, denim top f21, sweater vintage, jeans bdg, boots madewell
i woke up this morning and the sun was lying like a birthday parcel on my table so i opened it up and so many happy things went fluttering into the air — i don’t believe i’ve ever been so heavy with happiness.
- from the love letters of zelda fitzgerald
balancing being a new mama, work, breast feeding and all the rest…soaking in this chapter.
for our eight year (together) anniversary, on the summer solstice, we headed to moma for the rain room exhibit. we are both fans of interactive art and couldn’t think of a better way to spend our special day.
from the moma website: A field of falling water that pauses wherever a human body is detected, Rain Room offers visitors the experience of controlling the rain. Known for their distinctive approach to contemporary digital practice, Random International’s experimental projects come alive through audience interaction—and Rain Room is their largest and most ambitious to date. The work invites visitors to explore the roles that science, technology, and human ingenuity can play in stabilizing our environment. Using digital technology, Rain Room creates a carefully choreographed downpour, simultaneously encouraging people to become performers on an unexpected stage and creating an intimate atmosphere of contemplation.
so for the first time ever, i decided to get a formal dress hemmed for flats. it was so weird being at the cleaners without a pair of heels in my bag. i figured it would be way easier to walk around the grass with sandals, the cut of this dress has a high waist, which lengthens the body, so i really didn’t need to look that much taller, and with a month old baby i didn’t want to take any chances. i’m not very good with heels, but i am stubborn. you will not catch me on the dance floor of a wedding with bare feet. i either tough it out, or bring cute dressy flats to dance in. no offense to those who do, i just like the idea of keeping my getup on point for the entire night. so on to the dress. i was looking for a dress that i could easily nurse the baby with, but one that was also on par with my style. i found this one at asos and kept putting it in my cart but not pushing the purchase button as it was pricey. as we got closer to the wedding date, and the hotel reservations were made, i figured i’d just go for it. on the website the dress appears more orange than peach. so when it arrived i was on the fence as to whether i should keep it, but once i tried it on, i fell in love with the detailed waist. my m.i.l. had gotten elisane a pretty cute dress when she first came to visit her and so we ended up having matching outfits. i kept telling people it wasn’t planned, but no one believed me.
oh i forgot to mention this little trick i learned from my friend. if you have a dress that shows off a lot of back, you can wear a bathing suit top since it’s so minimal. this way you get support and still show off some skin. in my hey day, i would have just gone braless, since i was pretty flat chested, but with my new set of postpartum boobies the bathing suit top is excellent for support and for storing nursing pads.
josh’s shirt is untucked, the baby’s missing a shoe. my dress is super wrinkled at the bottom. this is us.
we don’t have it all together, but we try.
popping in quickly to show you my crochet braids. my little cousin was sweet and patient enough to come over and spend a couple of hours doing my hair. i washed and deep conditioned my hair following naptural85′s regimen. my cousin cornrowed my hair and crocheted kinky marley hair into the braids, so my hair is in a protective style and i get to enjoy a fro. i have a huge hair crush on cyntthia (who is so lovely by the way, i bumped into her at the brooklyn flea early this summer). glad i could get the look even though i don’t have the length yet.
on the stormy thursday evening of june 27th, i gave birth to my daughter elisane (pronounced ellie-zan). this was certainly the most powerful experience of my life. i gave birth naturally and vaginally, no inductions, no epidural. i’ll share more about that when i write my birth story. these photos are bits and pieces of the last month.
- she loves her changing table, she looks up at the sky during the day and checks out the twinkling lights of the city at night
- in the wee hours of the night, erm morning, we listen to edith piaf, curtis mayfiled and bob marley.
- the good thing about having a baby in the summer is…they don’t need much clothing, i couldn’t resist these leg warmers though, great for when the ac is on.
- we met up with friends to toast our bebe at our local beer garden
- after ten straight days in doors we ventured out to the pediatrician and a walk through the park where josh and i had our first kiss.
- my dad picked up his granddaughter after much cajoling, he’s nervous about holding newborns. so exciting for him to see that his youngest daughter now has a daughter of her own.
- snuggling with papa, yikes his feet are dir-tay
- sunday afternoon stroll, mama is looking forward to building up her strength and getting fit.
- the last photo is pretty much how my hands look most of the time. i love nursing and being close to my bebe, it feels so natural and so right.
i want to give a little shout out to a reader from DC who was in Brooklyn visiting her sister and recognized me in target and said hello. you motivated me to carve out some time to post. it was really wonderful to meet you, i’m glad we got to chat!
ten years ago my sister (pictured here) was preggars with my eldest sister. my nephews were born three months apart and have grown up together like brothers and the best of friends. fast forward ten years later and my sister is now preggars with me and our kiddos will be just one month apart and maybe even less considering my little one isn’t quite ready to join the world yet. we were at our friend’s bbq and josh snapped these photos, we will certainly treasure these for many years to come.
still cooking! here i am at 39 weeks. you may remember this skirt from my honeymoon. i def have to work to shimmy myself into it, but it still fits and once it’s on it’s quite comfy. i really didn’t go crazy with maternity clothes, i just worked with my looser clothing and paired them with stretchy tops. i got my hair braided in preparation for the summer. i love the long braids, but frankly it’s too hot and with a baby i want to be able to pin my hair up easily. we are off to moma to check out the rain room. the baby’s due date is sunday, but with the supermoon this weekend, i doubt s/he’ll come out. we’ll have to see.
outfit details: purse and top h&m, skirt handmade, sandals madewell