i woke up this morning and the sun was lying like a birthday parcel on my table so i opened it up and so many happy things went fluttering into the air — i don’t believe i’ve ever been so heavy with happiness.
- from the love letters of zelda fitzgerald
balancing being a new mama, work, breast feeding and all the rest…soaking in this chapter.
for our eight year (together) anniversary, on the summer solstice, we headed to moma for the rain room exhibit. we are both fans of interactive art and couldn’t think of a better way to spend our special day.
from the moma website: A field of falling water that pauses wherever a human body is detected, Rain Room offers visitors the experience of controlling the rain. Known for their distinctive approach to contemporary digital practice, Random International’s experimental projects come alive through audience interaction—and Rain Room is their largest and most ambitious to date. The work invites visitors to explore the roles that science, technology, and human ingenuity can play in stabilizing our environment. Using digital technology, Rain Room creates a carefully choreographed downpour, simultaneously encouraging people to become performers on an unexpected stage and creating an intimate atmosphere of contemplation.
so for the first time ever, i decided to get a formal dress hemmed for flats. it was so weird being at the cleaners without a pair of heels in my bag. i figured it would be way easier to walk around the grass with sandals, the cut of this dress has a high waist, which lengthens the body, so i really didn’t need to look that much taller, and with a month old baby i didn’t want to take any chances. i’m not very good with heels, but i am stubborn. you will not catch me on the dance floor of a wedding with bare feet. i either tough it out, or bring cute dressy flats to dance in. no offense to those who do, i just like the idea of keeping my getup on point for the entire night. so on to the dress. i was looking for a dress that i could easily nurse the baby with, but one that was also on par with my style. i found this one at asos and kept putting it in my cart but not pushing the purchase button as it was pricey. as we got closer to the wedding date, and the hotel reservations were made, i figured i’d just go for it. on the website the dress appears more orange than peach. so when it arrived i was on the fence as to whether i should keep it, but once i tried it on, i fell in love with the detailed waist. my m.i.l. had gotten elisane a pretty cute dress when she first came to visit her and so we ended up having matching outfits. i kept telling people it wasn’t planned, but no one believed me.
oh i forgot to mention this little trick i learned from my friend. if you have a dress that shows off a lot of back, you can wear a bathing suit top since it’s so minimal. this way you get support and still show off some skin. in my hey day, i would have just gone braless, since i was pretty flat chested, but with my new set of postpartum boobies the bathing suit top is excellent for support and for storing nursing pads.
josh’s shirt is untucked, the baby’s missing a shoe. my dress is super wrinkled at the bottom. this is us.
we don’t have it all together, but we try.
popping in quickly to show you my crochet braids. my little cousin was sweet and patient enough to come over and spend a couple of hours doing my hair. i washed and deep conditioned my hair following naptural85′s regimen. my cousin cornrowed my hair and crocheted kinky marley hair into the braids, so my hair is in a protective style and i get to enjoy a fro. i have a huge hair crush on cyntthia (who is so lovely by the way, i bumped into her at the brooklyn flea early this summer). glad i could get the look even though i don’t have the length yet.
on the stormy thursday evening of june 27th, i gave birth to my daughter elisane (pronounced ellie-zan). this was certainly the most powerful experience of my life. i gave birth naturally and vaginally, no inductions, no epidural. i’ll share more about that when i write my birth story. these photos are bits and pieces of the last month.
- she loves her changing table, she looks up at the sky during the day and checks out the twinkling lights of the city at night
- in the wee hours of the night, erm morning, we listen to edith piaf, curtis mayfiled and bob marley.
- the good thing about having a baby in the summer is…they don’t need much clothing, i couldn’t resist these leg warmers though, great for when the ac is on.
- we met up with friends to toast our bebe at our local beer garden
- after ten straight days in doors we ventured out to the pediatrician and a walk through the park where josh and i had our first kiss.
- my dad picked up his granddaughter after much cajoling, he’s nervous about holding newborns. so exciting for him to see that his youngest daughter now has a daughter of her own.
- snuggling with papa, yikes his feet are dir-tay
- sunday afternoon stroll, mama is looking forward to building up her strength and getting fit.
- the last photo is pretty much how my hands look most of the time. i love nursing and being close to my bebe, it feels so natural and so right.
i want to give a little shout out to a reader from DC who was in Brooklyn visiting her sister and recognized me in target and said hello. you motivated me to carve out some time to post. it was really wonderful to meet you, i’m glad we got to chat!
ten years ago my sister (pictured here) was preggars with my eldest sister. my nephews were born three months apart and have grown up together like brothers and the best of friends. fast forward ten years later and my sister is now preggars with me and our kiddos will be just one month apart and maybe even less considering my little one isn’t quite ready to join the world yet. we were at our friend’s bbq and josh snapped these photos, we will certainly treasure these for many years to come.
still cooking! here i am at 39 weeks. you may remember this skirt from my honeymoon. i def have to work to shimmy myself into it, but it still fits and once it’s on it’s quite comfy. i really didn’t go crazy with maternity clothes, i just worked with my looser clothing and paired them with stretchy tops. i got my hair braided in preparation for the summer. i love the long braids, but frankly it’s too hot and with a baby i want to be able to pin my hair up easily. we are off to moma to check out the rain room. the baby’s due date is sunday, but with the supermoon this weekend, i doubt s/he’ll come out. we’ll have to see.
outfit details: purse and top h&m, skirt handmade, sandals madewell
so it’s safe to say that i’m a daddy’s girl, many of my dad’s old friends say that when i’m around, they feel like he’s around. they say we carry the same sort of energy and vibe and that are mannerisms are similar. i’m crazy about my old man for so many reasons. i respect that he’s been married to my mom for forty-two years. i love that when i go home i can hang out with both of them like i have since i was a kid. my dad takes his role as father very seriously. i don’t think he was ever late picking me up and i didn’t learn to drive till i was 25 (seven years ago) so he would pick me up quite a bit as you could imagine. what i respect the most about him, is that he was born in the most economically depressed country in the western hemisphere, haiti and although it’s difficult to exist as an immigrant in a country and be estranged from those closest to you. he’s made it work for himself on so many levels. while he accepted the limitations of being a foreigner he figured out how to carve a comfortable life for himself here. somehow on a working class salary, he put my two sisters and i through private school for our entire education (grade school through high school) sent us all off to college, provided us with comfortable home to live in and gave us a strong sense of security. i could go on and on about him, but i think the one thing that resonates with me the most is time. at various points in my childhood, based on my needs or that of my sisters he would adjust his schedule, so that he could be more present and this has made a tremendous impact on me. he didn’t buy me things often, but he made sure he was around to take us on long bike rides and train my sister for her track meets and make pistachio pudding with us. since he is not much of a consumer, i’d often write him letters on father’s day, as i know how powerful words are to him in lieu of anything store bough. so this is my little tribute to the first man in my life, the father, the grandpa, the husband, the builder, the cancer survivor, the philosopher, the activist, and thinker. i feel incredibly blessed to have come from him, to have been raised by him and to be a part of his family. there is nothing like time and i feel incredibly grateful that he gave and continues to give his so generously.