Getting into the groove…

i promised myself i would not look like a hot mess regardless of how stressful life gets with being a mama, wife, working full time and so on. i promised to never ever wear sweat pants or yoga pants (unless i’m going to yoga) in public. what i find works really well is that when an outfit works, it unofficially becomes my uniform. for the last couple months this one has been mine. i’ve worn this here getup for a kid birthday party, thanksgiving day in atl, to the movies with josh, to grab a drink with a friend. basically anyone who’s seen me in the last few months has seen me wearing this. the denim top is sleeveless so i don’t get too hot in it and the buttons snap so my little one has easy access for nursing. i have hips now and am curvier which i quite like. if i could only keep these boobs. that would be sweet. since i’ve always been flat chested, i convinced myself that being flat chested is awesome and there’s so many perks like wearing crazy low cut tops (the ones that plunge really far down, that i’m too prudish to ever wear but like the idea that i guess i could) or going braless. anyway now that i have a taste of what it’s like to be an A+ or B if i’m behind with pumping, i have to admit i’m gonna miss them when i’m done nursing. in the beginning when i had an oversupply i think i may have even been a C ha! back when i was pregnant, i had no idea what my postpartum body would be like and i didn’t worry too much. i was told my body would never be the same by most and i was told i’d bounce right back by others. i have a couple of pounds to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, but i pretty much fit back into all of my clothing. it’s certainly tighter, but it fits. the best advice someone gave me is to eat healthy and not to worry too much about fitness with a very young baby. i gained twenty four pounds during my pregnancy and dropped eighteen right away. a few weeks later i dropped a couple more and have a few pounds left to lose, but i am steadily building up my strength and endurance. i’ve been cycling to work when i can and this involves biking to multiple locations around brooklyn. so on any given day i cycle between five and seven miles about once or twice a week. a friend of mine shared a very powerful video with me about women’s postpartum bodies. it’s called birthmarkings and certainly worth checking out. it’s a collection of interviews of women sharing how their body transformed after having a baby and the camera is on their bellies not their faces. what struck me is that one woman said, hollywood seeks to sell the idea that it’s important to erase the evidence of childbirth and in many instances this is not possible nor is it necessary. she talks about how it’s important to appreciate a body that has transformed in order to bring forth life.
in real life, people tell me i don’t look like i’ve had a baby. the “evidence” is not so apparent, but in the nude it is and it’s okay. i didn’t get stretch marks, this time around but i have a little pooch which may or may not go away it’s really important for me to be healthy and strong and i know this will come with time and effort. having a baby has certainly been transformative and i am still negotiating the life i had with the one i have now and juggling quite a bit. i think i’m really close to finding my groove though and it’s really exciting. yea a bit of a rant…likely due to very little sleep okay off to get some rest.
coat vitnage,  scarf vintage, denim top f21, sweater vintage, jeans bdg, boots madewell

15 comments to Getting into the groove…

  • Faith

    It’s so great to get an update from you! I think you look amazing!

  • you are looking amazing! i remember the months after i had my first baby were like a roller coaster. always a new adventure when i’d go to put things on. first it was nothing fitting, or fitting very closely, then all of a sudden, my hips went back in and everything was loose! i also remember being excited to finally have boobs (i am flat chested, too), but when i had them i found them a nuisance. nothing looked right.

    lovely to get an update. how’s that little bubba doing?

  • I am pregnant with my fourth child right now. I love this post by you because every pregnancy has been totally different. I have gained a range of 20-60 pounds. I have ended up back to my pre-pregnancy weight in a month and my last one it took almost a year! It all depends, but it is so good to eat healthy during and after you are pregnant and to be proud of what your body has endured! I am glad that you shared this post. Congrats and you look GREAT!

  • Yes, to all of the above. In my photography class part of my folio ended up being about motherhood and a commentary on body-after-baby. I love the idea of birthmarkings and I think it’s so important with the hype of hollywood promoting cat walks and all things crazy 6 weeks post-partum. There’s a disconnect there which doesn’t pain a real picture of womanhood.

  • so nice to hear from you! Glad things are going well and your honesty and fresh outlook is always wonderful to read!

  • You look wonderful Monique and I love all of these smiling and happy pictures of you. Glad to you hear you and the baby are doing well! :)

  • Amy

    You look so happy and vibrant. I want to check out that video you mentioned it sounds very reaffirming!

  • toi

    It’s good to hear from you, I really missed you :). You are looking wonderful as always

  • Monique, you look amazing! I love reading posts like this. Thank you for sharing your heart on the issue of post-partum bodies. Not many women speak about it openly, so I am always intrigued by what others have to say when they’re willing to share. (Gives me a more realistic idea of what to expect when my time comes, you know?)

    Btw, Giiiiiirl… your hair! LOVE it! Are you on Instagram?

  • You look great, its a positive outlook to focus more on your health and less on weight loss. Its natural for mothers to gain weight and I read breastfeeding actually help with shedding any extra you don’t want to keep.

  • I like this. I tend to get “uniforms” too when it comes to work outfits. I love this one of yours.

    Also, this is a very honest post; love that!

  • You always rock the casual looks Monique. I’m all about uniforms too, and I don’t even have the baby excuse, but I’ve been trying to focus on writing rather than thinking too much about what to wear on a day to day basis.

    The people who love you are going to love you whatever changes occur in your body (which, for the record, already looked amazing 8 weeks after giving birth). I think you’re right to focus on the healthy and strong aspect…

    Happy New Year to you and your family! I’d love to see some more pictures of baby when you get a chance!

  • I know it’s hard to perceive one’s life through blog posts and facebook status’ but I am very proud of you, ‘Mo! From where I’m at you’re doing it well, effortlessly and in a very inspiring way for all of us.

    See you soon.

  • you look amazing dear and your hair…your hair…i love this!!

  • Haha I wouldn’t call this a “rant” at all because it was so positive, but perhaps a happy ramble. The kind you have a with a sweet friend in a cozy coffee shop was in fact what it reminded me of. i loved hearing your thoughts on your body after pregnancy and how open you were in sharing. “appreciate a body that has transformed in order to bring forth life” is truly a beautiful quote from that documentary and while I don’t think I’ll watch it now, I’ll certainly keep note of it when the time comes. and also, you look gorgeous! sounds like you really have dropped a ton of weight fast, and i know the tummy pouch is a diff kind after pregnancy but hey, i have a tummy pouch anyway sans babies haha. and also, this is a great “uniform” very comfy looking but so chic w/ the booties and scarf.

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