a reader emailed me a while back requesting that i share my hair story. i finally had some time to sift through some photos so without further ado
here i am at three months old with very little hair and the bit that i have is stringy and fine. i have what i like to call a two car garage (receding hair line on two sides). how awesome is my mom’s bag though? i love the skinny strap of her watch too.
up until the sixth grade i had natural hair. i remember one of the neighborhood boys making fun of my hair and asking when i was planning to straighten it. i had no plans to straighten it but of course at this vulnerable age i begged my mom to give me a relaxer. she told me that my hair was fine the way it was but i nagged and nagged. my father told me that i shouldn’t hide from who i am and that my hair is really beautiful and strong. my mom eventually gave in. the harsh chemicals destroyed my hair and i spent a significant amount of time growing out the processed hair. by the time i got to high school it was all out and i usually just wore it slicked back in a bun with lots of gel or i would twist it and then untwist it. as you can see from this photo it was very stringy and unhealthy. i had no idea how to really manage it. unlike today there was no youtube tutorials and natural hair bloggers. heck i didn’t even have a computer. i represented my high school and attended a week-long seminar about women in politics and i met a girl who offered to style my hair for me. she gave me lots of tips on how to care for my hair and boy did i need them the info she provided me with was invaluable. 
and then this happened. i went to a salon to get my hair texturized. i was told my hair would be curly. my hair is highly textured and i thought i’d leave with looser curls but instead it came out pin straight. the stylist did not expect the chemicals to straighten my hair. while it is highly textured as you can see from my early years it’s thin and chemicals work their way through it quite easily. i decided to just go with the flow and i asked him to cut it short because it was so thin it wouldn’t look decent any other way. could you believe that that’s me. i wanted to look different for prom but not that different. 
um i won’t even go in to the sparkly makeup the dress or those shoes. 
i immediately grew out the processed hair the summer before going to college. after a few months i chopped off the straight hair and started tiny coils for locks. as you can see (in the above photo) the early stage of my locks in this pic. 
by my junior year my hair had grown nicely it was so thick and i had a lot of fun with this length
i had some major life altering experiences and i felt like i needed to leave a part of myself behind so i cut my hair again to start anew. it was so liberating and refreshing. i don’t regret it one bit. 
i kept a teeny afro for a while but decided that i really love having locks so i grew them again.
people have many different reasons for choosing to be natural. for me it’s a family affair. my mom and sisters wear their natural hair and it’s really powerful for me when we’re all together because we’ve all gone through various phases with our hair and i’m sure we all will continue to. for me it’s also about self-awareness and self-love. my hair grows the way it does and i should embrace it and celebrate it because it is who i am. i’m really grateful that i’m on this path with my family. it’s funny how parents don’t really know how much of what they tell you, you’ll actually remember. i remember my father telling me. “you have to think” explaining to me that my desire for straight hair was coming from the media and that it was important for me to know that my hair is fine the way it is and i shouldn’t apologize for that. i shouldn’t straighten my hair to adhere to anyone else’s standard of beauty. 
about my hair…23 comments to about my hair… |
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Aww I loved seeing this! First, it was so fun to see old pictures but most importantly, I couldn’t agree more with the self-awareness and self-love part, and that’s fantastic that your family all wears their hair natural and your dad told you such great things growing up! I’ve always been a big fan of leaving my hair natural, sometimes felt like I should straighten it like everyone in high school but then ‘lo and behold, got compliments on it being different- just how I absolutely love your hair, love the diff styles you & your sisters and mom all do!
I really love this post, i loved looking through the pictures and learning about your hair journey
. You’re right, we shouldn’t adhere to anyone’s standard of beauty, but rather our own 
Love this post dear!
enjoyed how you told this story from beginning to end. & to see how your hair has truly matured into something beautiful & healthy is quite lovely;)
I loved, loved, LOVE reading your hair story, such a journey to yoir beautiful hair. Thanks for sharing.
Oh this was great Monique…your locks are one of my favorite things in the world…they are gorgeous and I love your reason for remaining natural:-)
i love love this post so much! i have wanted to hear your story too. we have all gone through this in some part of our life. i would get my hair chemically straightened and my hair just didn’t like it. finally when i got out of high school i started wearing my hair curly and i just love it. i love feeling natural and finally embracing my hair for what it is.
the last picture of you is just stunning. i love your hair done up like that.
xo,
cb
This is such a inspiring and heartfelt story. I enjoyed reading about your journey into accepting the nature of your hair! I’ve been toying with the idea of shaving my hair and letting it go back naturally myself. After reading your story (and viewing the accompanying beautiful pictures), I have even more of an incentive to do so.
WOW, I love all your pictures!!
great post!
xx
Absolutely LOVED reading your HAIR STORY!!! You really do have lovely hair and you style them SO WELL!
♡ from © tanvii.com
This was highly enjoyable! Loved all the pictures of you from back in the day. Those prom shoes!!! I think you and your hair are just beautiful.
Thanks for sharing I LOVE this….I read the whole thing. Your hair is totally you now and I can’t imagine it any other way.
jen
http://blankwhiteframes.blogspot.com
I love your natural hair! It looks gorgeous!! As someone with naturally straight hair – it’s boring. My husband is half and his hair is a mixed wavy texture (he had an ADORABLE fro when he was little) and I absolutely love it. I’d trade you any day! <3 xoxoxoxoxo
that was such an interesting journey back monique!I loved seeing your pictures of all the different hair styles- I have been so boring with my hair, I think I even pin them in the same way every morning!
I completely share what you are saying- you have to love your hair and the way it is..although me too i ve bought a curler because I m so jealous of curly hair!what can i say- the grass is always greener on the other side
i liked this story
i really enjoyed the picture of you with your mom as a baby. you both are so beautiful. xoxo
gave me goosebumps reading this. beautiful. i love that you embraced it and you’re an empress:-). xx
“two car garage”…LOL I have that going on too! Love the color of your locks in the 1st & 9th photos. It’s super cool to have family support; and the words from your dad…just SWEET!
I loved reading about your hair journey. And I cannot get over how gorgeous you are. I love love love that last picture of you. It belongs in a magazine.
LOVE this post — passing it on to SORAYA. ;]
I absolutely adore your hair story! It’s nice to see the process that one goes through with their hair. I think your locks are gorgeous! I am natural as well, and it wasn’t until becoming natural three years ago that I was able to fully understand how to care for my hair. Great post!
Lynn
CARMEN VOGUE
beauty. full. x
how thoughtful to share your journey of hair and weave in some personal stories of growth too (no pun intended!). but really, you found your way back to a natural you, one that you embraced, and you look GORGEOUS! that last photo of you, it’s just a gloriously beautiful hairdo!
You and your family are so beautiful. I love your hair & your confidence.